In a litigated divorce, most of the communication between parties takes place through legal motions and correspondence between counsel, making it adversarial by nature. “Those cases certainly out there,” says Louise McGlynn. “And while there are cases that are litigated, our goal is to encourage clients towards a negotiated approach.” In the more traditional adversarial form of divorce, “winner takes all” means that everyone ultimately loses.

The firm of Freshman & McGlynn listens very carefully to the wishes of its clients. In most cases the clients want to avoid the courtroom, but if a litigated divorce is on the agenda, they have years of litigation experience and are aggressive in the courtroom. Their goal whenever possible, is to make the divorce process less painful, less contentious and easier on the entire family, through negotiated settlement processes.

The firm sees collaborative divorce as one of the preferred options. As part of the collaborative process, both parties consent not only to the divorce but also to a mutual desire not to waste all of their assets in seeing it through. In turn, both parties retain more control over what happens to their children, assets and even their future relationship. Opposing lawyers and clients sit together at a table, with both sides pledging to hammer out an agreement. “I say to clients that if you want to dance at your children’s wedding with your former spouse, this is the process you use,” says McGlynn. Another form of divorce that fits with McGlynn's philosophy is the mediated divorce. A lawyer – mutually agreed upon as a neutral third party – advises the divorcing parties on the confines of the law, defining the parameters and helping them arrive at a consensus. In other words, McGlynn says, “I facilitate the conversation.”

But it all does take some doing. Given the many factors involved, it takes boundless creativity to superimpose the strictures of the law onto the emotional human component. McGlynn says, “These are people’s lives. You can’t regulate emotion and so the challenge is to keep the emotion in check.”

Once these hurdles are cleared, “cashing out” the shared household means that the worst has passed. Leaving everyone with a sense of enthusiasm means the collaboration worked and that is what matters most – especially when an effective parenting plan puts the children first. As McGlynn says, “It’s very satisfying to help a family move forward.”

For more information, visit: www.freshmanmcglynn.com